How to Make Friends in a New City (A Practical Plan)

The most reliable way to make friends in a new city is to show up to the same small group, at the same time, every week, and then turn familiar faces into plans: a recurring fitness class, a run club, a rec league, a volunteer shift, or a hobby class all work. Friendship mostly comes from repeated time together, so pick two or three recurring things and stick with them for at least two months before judging the results.

This guide covers why adult friendship takes longer than it should, the methods that work best, scripts for the awkward part, and a simple 8-week plan.

Why making friends as an adult feels so hard

School and early jobs handed you friends by putting you in the same rooms with the same people for hours. A new city removes that. You may have coworkers, but remote and hybrid work cut those hours too.

The numbers explain a lot. In a 2018 study, University of Kansas researcher Jeffrey Hall estimated it takes roughly 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to become friends, and more than 200 hours to become close friends (University of Kansas). Hall also found that time spent hanging out and joking around counted more than time spent working side by side.

Fifty hours is a lot if you only see someone once a month. It is very doable if you see them twice a week. That is the whole strategy: put yourself somewhere you will see the same people often, then add time together outside that setting.

It is worth the effort. The U.S. Surgeon General's 2023 advisory on loneliness linked social isolation to higher risk of heart disease, dementia, depression, and early death (HHS).

The best ways to meet people in a new city

The pattern: anything recurring beats anything one-off. A single mixer gives you a name. A Tuesday class gives you the same twelve faces every week.

Why fitness classes work so well

Group fitness classes check most of the boxes at once. They run on fixed schedules, regulars stick to their time slot, and the class gives you something to talk about in the two minutes before and after. Getting through the same hard workout also gives you an easy opening line.

There is some evidence that the setting itself helps. In a 12-week study of medical students, those who took group fitness classes reported lower stress and better physical, mental, and emotional quality of life, while students who exercised alone or with one or two partners improved less on those measures (summary from ACE).

To make a class work for friendship:

• Pick one class time and keep it. The 6 a.m. Tuesday crowd and the Saturday 9 a.m. crowd are different groups. You need to see the same people.
• Choose smaller studios and formats. A 12-person reformer class or a small yoga studio is easier than a 50-bike spin room.
• Arrive 10 minutes early and stay 5 minutes after. That is when conversations happen.
• Learn the instructor's name and use it. Instructors often introduce regulars to each other.
• Turn one regular into a workout buddy. See how to find a workout buddy.
• Try a community-minded studio. Some studios host socials, workshops, or post-class coffee. Those are easy invitations.

Not sure what format to try? Our guide to types of workout classes compares them, and going to your first fitness class alone covers the nerves.

Other methods that work

Run clubs

Most cities have free weekly run clubs, often starting at a running store or brewery. You run side by side, which is easier than face-to-face small talk, and many end with food or drinks. Most clubs have pace groups, so you do not need to be fast.

Rec leagues

Kickball, volleyball, softball, and pickleball leagues put you on a team for a full season. You can sign up as a free agent and get placed on a team.

Volunteering on a fixed shift

A food bank, animal shelter, or trail crew with the same weekly shift gives you repeat contact and shared work. Pick a recurring role, not a one-day event.

Hobby classes with a set term

Six- or eight-week courses (ceramics, improv, a language, climbing) give everyone a reason to come back and a natural end point to suggest "want to sign up for the next one together?"

Apps, used for logistics

Friend-finding apps and meetup sites can help, but they work best for finding recurring groups, not one-off coffees with strangers. Use them to find the weekly thing, then let the weekly thing do the work.

Neighbors and coworkers

Say hello to the same neighbors and use names. Join the work lunch or the after-work trivia team. Low-stakes contact adds up.

Scripts for the awkward part

The step most people skip is moving from familiar face to actual plan. A few lines that work:

• After class: "I'm new to the area. Have you been coming here long? Any other classes you'd recommend?"
• The second or third time you see someone: "Hey, you were here last Tuesday too. I'm Sam."
• Turning it into a plan: "A few of us are grabbing coffee after class Saturday, want to come?" Group plans feel lower pressure than one-on-one.
• The direct version: "I just moved here and I'm trying to meet people. Want to grab a drink sometime?" People respond better to this than you expect.
• Keeping it going: "Are you doing the Thursday class this week? I'll save you a spot next to me." (Save a spot only if the studio allows it.)

Most people are glad to be asked. Many of the regulars you see were new once too.

An 8-week plan

Expect slow progress for the first month. Most friendships form in the second and third month of seeing someone regularly, which matches Hall's hours math.

If you just moved to Portland, Maine

Portland is small enough that you will start recognizing people quickly. Pick a studio close to home or work so it is easy to keep the habit. Our Portland fitness class directory lists pilates, yoga, strength, and spin studios across the peninsula and nearby towns, and our best workout classes in Portland guide is organized by what you want from a class.

Full disclosure: Corvi is our app. It is a free social app for class-based fitness. You book with the studio, then check in on Corvi, follow people you meet in class, and see where they train, which makes "want to come to Thursday's class?" an easy text. Corvi does not book classes or take payments.

Common questions

How long does it take to make friends in a new city?

Usually a few months. Research by Jeffrey Hall estimated about 50 hours together to become casual friends and about 90 hours to become friends. If you see the same people two or three times a week through a class or club, plus a few plans outside it, you can reach that range in two to four months.

Where is the best place to meet friends as an adult?

Anywhere you see the same people repeatedly with something to do together. Recurring fitness classes, run clubs, rec leagues, regular volunteer shifts, and multi-week hobby classes work well. One-off events help less because you rarely see the same people twice. Choose something you enjoy, so you keep going long enough for friendships to form.

How do you make friends at the gym or in a fitness class?

Go to the same class at the same time each week so you see the same regulars. Arrive early and stay a few minutes after, introduce yourself by the second or third time you see someone, and ask about other classes they like. After a few weeks, invite one or two people for coffee or to try a new class together.

Is it normal to feel lonely after moving to a new city?

Yes, it is very common, and it often peaks in the first few months. Building a routine with recurring activities helps. If loneliness turns into persistent low mood, trouble sleeping, or loss of interest in things you usually enjoy, talk to a doctor or mental health professional.

Find your next class: start with the Portland class directory, or join Corvi free and follow the people you meet.